


Striped Carnation

by flowerywoo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21798937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerywoo/pseuds/flowerywoo
Summary: In which Jungwoo's colorless life eventually suffers consequential changes after his soulmate bond activates for the first time ever at the age of eighteen. Little did he know, however, that the person he was so desperate to meet his whole life didn’t feel the same way. After all, the elder had already found his own soulmate and there was nothing Jungwoo could do about it.Or in which Jung Jaehyun, a twenty-year-old college sophomore, is part of the 5% of the population that is unfortunately linked to two people—two soulmates that resonate with him directly. And although he wishes he could provide Jungwoo with the love and affection he deserves, the child's feelings can’t be reciprocated. Jungwoo is essentially a liability in his life and that’s something he can’t change. That is until some unfortunate events occur, directly affecting Jungwoo’s life and to a certain extent Jaehyun’s as well, for the elder realizes that maybe he isn’t as unaffected by Jungwoo as he may think.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 11
Kudos: 77





	1. Un

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Striped Carnation 
> 
> Genre(s): Soulmate!au, romance, angst (I think half of this will be angsty), unrequited love (on Jungwoo's side), ending fluff (there will be some fluff just bear with me pls), platonic relationships (I’d love to have a friend like xuxi tbh)
> 
> Rating(s): Teen and up (there will be mild implications of sexual content but nothing too extreme. I’ll change the rating if I get carried away)
> 
> Pairing(s): Jaewoo (main)  
> Mentions of Markhyuck, Jaeyong, and Luwoo + Doyoung will make a guest appearance 
> 
> Additional Note(s): This has been on my mind for a long time. This isn’t really what I wanted to write, but when I was combining the ideas I liked how it turned out….kind of. I will get around one day and write my angsty idea of a soulmate!au but this will do for now. I wanted it to be one whole chapter but who am I kidding….that’ll take me a century to complete so bear with me pls. I don’t want it to be too long so I think there will be 3 parts only. Maybe 4. We’ll see.

His life had been colorless for far too long. Everyone around him could see the variety of the spectrum, often trying to describe what colors looked like, but realistically failing at finding the right words to describe them.

Yukhei, his best friend, was a lucky bastard. He had stumbled upon his soulmate at some point in his early life, granting him the pleasure of fully living in a world where he could appreciate the colors they were deprived from. All it took was an accidental touch for his world to change completely. 

“I don’t remember where, Woo. All I remember is that I got off that bus with a whole bunch of people and my world immediately brightened up. The lingering sensation of that accidental touch is still here, and there are days when I can feel them close to me. Our bond just activates immediately. It’s like a magnet. We both feel the attraction, but the timing is always bad,” said Yukhei one afternoon as they walked home together. 

They were close to each other, but never close enough to finally meet. Who could possibly be his soulmate? Neither one of them knew for sure. According to what Yukhei had mentioned, he could sense when his soulmate was around, for there is an inexplicable pull that cannot be explained—a need to meet each other; a _desire_ to be close to each other.

Yukhei was lucky. Their soulmate bond hadn’t been activated yet when he accidentally stumbled upon his predestined person, but that accidental touch had been enough to change his world completely, for the boy was finally able to see colors for the first time in his life. He had been gifted with a full spectrum of new colors at the mere age of thirteen, roughly around the time they first learn about their soulmate and the emotional, as well as physical, link between them. And the interesting thing about soulmates is that they complete each other. They give each other back a particular aspect of their lives that is taken away as soon as they’re born, giving them a personal reason to look forward to the future later on in life.

And Jungwoo? The babe had been waiting for this day all his life. He had been waiting for the day he’d _finally_ be able to experience and admire the beautiful colors Yukhei wouldn’t shut up about. But unlike his best friend, the babe was far from lucky. And realistically speaking, the chances of him meeting his soulmate any time soon were slim to none. 

Jungwoo was Yukhei's complete opposite. He wasn’t a social butterfly surrounded by people that wanted to be friends with him. He wasn’t overly friendly with others, and he was by far the most quiet individual amongst Yukhei's circle of friends. Other than him, his only other friends were Mark and Donghyuck, and those two were essentially a package since they found out about their soulmate bond roughly a year or two _after_ Yukhei got his colored vision. 

They were lucky too. It must be nice to have friends in common.

“Don’t get desperate. You’ll meet them soon, Woo. Yukhei still doesn’t know who his soulmate is, but he got lucky to accidentally have a quick encounter with them. It wasn’t planned. It just happened. Everything flows at its own pace,” said Hyuckie one afternoon when they were hanging out together at an ice cream shop. Jungwoo loved strawberry ice cream, and he found himself thrilled to find out that his favourite ice cream is pink by nature, begging his friends to describe the color pink as best as they could. 

“Pink is a pretty color. It’s like when you see someone you genuinely like and they make you feel butterflies inside your tummy. It’s like the feeling you get when they smile at you and your heartbeat increases momentarily, causing you to think that you’re about to have a heart attack. Pink makes you feel the same way you feel when the person you like returns your feelings, creating an explosion of happiness inside you. Pink is very special, Woo. I hope you get to experience what I’m talking about one day,” said Mark, getting closer to Hyuck and pressing a kiss to the babe's cheek, causing the younger boy to giggle at the sudden affection.

Jungwoo wanted to experience it too. He wanted to see colors. He wanted his heart to speed up at the sight of his soulmate. He wanted to hold hands with them and share shy kisses with them. He wanted to hug them, bask in their scent, and feel the warmth radiating off of them. He wanted everything Mark and Hyuck had, but with his special someone instead.

He wanted to meet his soulmate as soon as possible.

* * *

“Jungwoo, those colors don’t match.” Yukhei was lying down on the child's bed and assessing the other’s choice of clothing, smiling to himself whenever Jungwoo came up with some interesting combinations that would most definitely give him nightmares if he didn’t stop him from wearing them.

Jungwoo should be thankful. He had three people willing to help him dress up on daily basis, and they assisted him every weekend to help him prepare his outfits for the week. Going shopping was an interesting task for the child, for he was essentially a little dress-up doll for the other three. Did Jungwoo mind? Not at all. 

As long as they made him look good, then he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Did Hyuck force him to label the colors of his clothes when he hung them up after washing them? Absolutely. Laundry days were busy for the babe. Not because of the actual task of washing his clothes—the machines did all the work for him, all he had to do was hang and fold—but rather because he had to label the colors in case of “unexpected circumstances,” as Mark referred to their random hangouts and unexpected errands that needed to be done.

“You said beige goes with anything,” whined the babe, earning himself a random chuckle from the taller boy on the bed. 

_It must be nice to have colored vision and finding these things funny,_ Jungwoo thought to himself.

“I didn’t say that. I said that it matches with the standard colors, those being black, white, and occasionally gray. Anything else in between is a matter of trial and error. Now, I’m no fashionista by any means, but I know for a fact that beige and neon orange should _never_ be mixed up together. Not unless you want people to see you from miles away.”

Pouting at the taller boy from the other side of the room, the child turned around and started digging his closet for a plain white long-sleeve shirt. He was in no mood to pull out all his white tops and figuring out which one looked better. He could only do so much with his colorless vision, often dreading his inability to dress up on his own. And realistically speaking, that was a struggle everyone goes through. 

Some people rely on their siblings—Yukhei being one of them up until he accidentally stumbled upon his soulmate—or cousins. But Jungwoo, being an only child, had no choice but to rely on his mom and friends. His friends more often than his mom since she made it clear in several occasions that matching colors was not one of her strengths. 

Was matching colors really that hard?

In theory, Jungwoo couldn’t complain. His friends often went the extra mile to make sure he looked presentable. He was lucky. He was an only child with friends willing to dress him up just so he could look good. 

Damn he owed them big time.

Pulling out the long-sleeve he was looking for, the babe didn’t even bother going into the bathroom to change his clothes. He changed his neon orange shirt in front of the other boy, unable to stop himself from laughing whenever Yukhei hyped him up despite having absolutely nothing to show off.

Other than his pretty belly button, or so Mark claimed.

“You should probably wear your white converse. The black ones will definitely match too.” Nodding at the boy sitting on the bed, the child went to his closet again and reached down for his shoes, digging through his fallen clothes and tossing them aside until he found the shoes with the label he was looking for. 

He then joined Yukhei on the bed momentarily as he put them on.

“You look good in white,” said the taller boy, sending the child a pretty smile that had Jungwoo turning into a slight shade of pink, embarrassment evident on him as he smacked the living lights out of Yukhei whilst the taller brunet merely complained. 

A rosy blush definitely looked pretty on the babe, but that was something Yukhei would never admit out loud.

Jungwoo smiled to himself and rushed them both out of his house to avoid being late, oblivious to the adorable look of admiration his best friend sent his way.

* * *

“Mom, what’s it like to meet your soulmate?” Jungwoo asked one day as he and his mother worked on making lunch. He was chopping off the vegetables whilst his mom worked on the seasoning, both of them working in silence until the babe decided to speak up.

It was a topic they didn’t talk about much. And for a good reason. 

“I can’t explain it, babe. If I have to put it into words, I’d say it’s like everything finally falls into place. Suddenly, as soon as the two of you meet, everything in life makes sense. For the first time ever, you feel complete.”

If that was the case, then how come his mom and her soulmate didn’t stay together?

His mom stopped seasoning the meat momentarily and let out a sigh of exasperation, bracing herself probably, for whatever she was about to say was definitely one of the many emotional scars she carrier around with her.

“I know what you’re about to ask. I can see you trying to find the right words to bring up the topic. My soulmate and I didn’t work out as a couple, sweetheart. We became too toxic for each other at some point. Suddenly, the butterflies and the excitement we felt whenever the bond activated disappeared, and we both became numb to the attraction. We figured it’d be better to not be together.”

How did that work? How can you possibly let go of the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with? How do you _force_ yourself to walk away when you’ve been waiting to meet them your whole life? Did it hurt? Do they still feel the link that connects them?

“We see each other from time to time. Our link is still there, and it’s as active as it can be. But neither one of us ever feels complete. There is a void that can’t be filled despite how much you love someone else. it's a form of happiness and fulfillment you only experience around your predestined person, and that’s what makes soulmates special, Woo. You don’t necessarily have to end up together to be happy. You can find your own happiness away from them, but you’ll _never_ be truly complete.”

Jungwoo had so many other questions for his mom.

For instance, how did she and his dad meet? How did they manage to fall in love? What was it like to walk away from their soulmates and finding their own happiness whilst simultaneously being conscious of the link that joined them to other people? Did it hurt?

If they had been so happy, how come they got divorced? 

He wanted to ask his mom so many other questions, but he figured he could ask her at another time. Because with the sudden atmosphere in the room, the child didn’t dare to ask anything else that could potentially trigger any horrible memories for his mom. It wouldn’t be fair to her at all.

“You'll find your soulmate soon, Woo. And I hope your story has a better ending than the one I had. Just know that neither your dad nor I have ever regretted our decision to build a life with each other. To both of us, you’re the best thing that has ever happened. Stop doubting yourself and the endless possibilities of the future ahead, baby. It’ll be okay.”

He hoped so too. He really hoped his mom was right. 

Hence why, smiling and nodding at the lovely lady, the child went back to chopping the vegetables, trying his best to distract himself from the conversation he just had with his mother and on purposely avoiding making eye contact with her.

His mom didn’t deserve such ending. She deserved everything in life and more. But some things were better off left unsaid.

* * *

The day it happened, Jungwoo was at loss of words. It had been the most bizarre situation of his life. The babe had been dreaming about this day. He had repeated the moment several times in his head, often wondering what would it be like to finally meet his soulmate.

But never in his eighteen years of existence did he ever imagine himself in this situation.

He was currently on the ground, knees probably scraped due to the harshness of the pavement. The stinging sensation on his flesh wouldn’t leave him alone, causing the babe to scrunch his face in pain as he forced himself to be an adult and not cry in front of anyone. Not that anyone cared, for not a single soul around him had bothered asking him if he was okay, but he had an image to uphold and some dignity left—despite Yukhei’s endless remarks about that word not existing in the babe’s vocabulary (screw you, Yukhei).

With the little booger that had tripped him running away and pretending like he hadn’t caused the babe to see his life flashing by his eyes as he kissed the ground, Jungwoo made an internal promise to himself to _never_ have kids. Children were the absolute worst and he would make sure his soulmate knew how he felt about them one day.

Puppies were better and cuter anyway.

To make matters worse, he had tripped in the comfort of his own neighborhood. Now that wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t get along with anyone, but his mother was a social butterfly and he was known by the entire neighborhood. Literally. If anyone had seen him kissing the ground he was bound to be made fun of eventually, and that would be a low blow to his self-esteem—seriously? A freaking kid is the reason behind his sweaty eyes? Those were _not_ tears! His eyes were sweating because of the fall.

“Are you okay?”

A voice he barely recognized.

Sitting on the ground instead of adding more pressure to his scraped knees—and dear lord, both knees were scraped and bleeding as we speak—the child forced himself to pretend like it didn’t hurt (the stinging said otherwise) for the sake of putting up a strong façade. He was eighteen! He shouldn’t cry over these things!

And to make matters worse, the person standing before him was no one other than his neighbor at the end of the block.

Jung Jaehyun, the _only_ neighbor of his that the babe didn’t particularly get along with. Not because he didn’t like him, but rather because the elder was _very_ private and kept to himself. The only thing the child knew about him was that he’s a college student who happens to work part-time at the café Mark and Hyuck frequent. 

And, of course, that he happens to live with his parents but is extremely independent despite his age, often used as the exemplary role model to every teenager in the neighborhood—Jungwoo included.

Peachy.

He just embarrassed himself in front of someone that had a godly status to every neighborhood mother. Good one, Jungwoo.

“Y-Yes, I'm okay. I'm sorry,” said the babe, shyly covering his bleeding knees and hoping for the elder to pretend like he hadn’t witnessed such a fail. 

Smiling to the younger boy on the ground, the elder crouched down momentarily and examined the child's flesh. The scrapes weren’t serious at all and the blood was due to the sudden irritation. The surrounded areas of the tiny wounds were getting inflamed, and Jaehyun merely let out a sigh of relief after assessing the situation and coming into terms with the incident not being anything major. He flashed a genuinely smile at the babe on the ground and resumed his standing position again. He stretched his hand out unexpectedly, hinting the child to take it so he could help him stand up.

And Jungwoo complied willingly, gently holding the offered hand and linking their fingers together. 

That’s when it happened.

A single touch was enough to send shivers down his body, immediately turning his world upside down as the dark and light shades of gray were replaced with pretty shades of what he assumed were colors, watching as the dullness of his life melted right before his eyes and turned into absolute brightness. The colors he so badly wanted to see didn’t disappoint him, putting a smile on his face as he allowed the overwhelming feelings to fill him up. The child was standing on his feet again, dramatically looking around him as he turned around momentarily to admire the contrast of shades of the houses he came to know so well over the past few years.

The blue sky Yukhei loved so much was absolutely beautiful. Every single shade around him suddenly gave his life some meaning, from the dull pavement that didn’t change any color, to the bright blue sky above them. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful that Jungwoo nearly cried right on the spot. For the first time in his life he got to experience the full spectrum of beauty he had been deprived from for years. 

It was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

“Oh my god. It’s so beautiful,” said the child out loud, not fully processing the situation just yet. He wasn’t aware that the gift of a colorful life was due to this soulmate's presence, and that alone would shock the child again, for he was far too overwhelmed by his colored vision to process anything else.

And _that_ was the problem.

Unlike Jungwoo's state of astonishment and perplexity, the elder seemed to be indifferent to the situation. 

“T-The colors, t-they—” Jaehyun cut him off almost immediately.

“I’m sorry. I’m not too sure of what you’re talking about, but I need to go,” said the elder, sending the child one last forced smile before walking away. 

He didn’t look back to check on the babe, nor did he stop for a second to think about what had just happened. In fact, whatever happened had nothing to do with him. He refused to acknowledge the second bond that had just activated. He refused to believe that another link had just been created as well. He refused to believe that the child he left behind was his soulmate as well.

It made no sense.

It was impossible. 

And whilst he coped with the sudden reality of having another soulmate, the babe had been left in a state of confusion and dejection, for he had finally gotten the chance to meet his soulmate; he had finally gotten his life-long wish. 

So why did it seem as if the elder didn’t want anything to do with him?

Why was his soulmate so cold to him?

* * *

_“Jae, are you okay? You’re very distracted tonight.”_

_“I'm okay love. I’m just tired."_

* * *

When Jungwoo told his friends about his colored vision, the child hadn’t displayed any excitement. He seemed to be void of any possible emotion, further concerning the other three who had been more than ready to hear the entire story.

_“I met my soulmate.”_

It was a simple text message. The child had yet to elaborate on the details of said encounter, and he had chosen to ghost his friends too after sending it. Neither one of them could fully understand the extent of the babe's sudden silence, but knowing Jungwoo and his random tendencies—those of his unexpected detachments from reality as he locked himself away in his room and escaped whatever was bothering him—no one pushed the topic.

They figured he wasn’t ready.

When Monday arrived, the babe found himself sitting in their usual hangout spot. There were three pairs of eyes staring at him with expectancy, patiently waiting for a detailed explanation of whatever went down during the weekend. 

But there was absolutely nothing he could tell them. There was nothing to say in regards to his soulmate. In fact, he had been so shaken by the unexpected discovery that he hadn’t told anyone yet. Not his mom and definitely not his dad. He was supposed to go spend the weekend at his dad's apartment, but Jungwoo couldn’t find the strength to go. Not when he had to take in the events that occurred earlier on as he was walking home.

Jung Jaehyun was his soulmate.

Jung Jaehyun, the neighbor he barely saw around and only knew existed due to his mother’s friendship with the elder’s mom. Jung Jaehyun, the guy that worked part-time at the café Mark and Hyuck frequent every Friday night. Jung Jaehyun, the boy that had invalidated the sudden bond between them and had chosen to run away instead of confronting the situation.

Jung Jaehyun, the one who had refused to acknowledge Jungwoo as his soulmate. So what exactly was the babe supposed to tell his friends? 

He had spent the entire weekend going over his memory of the event, trying his best to find a flaw or a hint that showed him what exactly caused the elder to behave in such a way. But there was nothing. It was as if Jaehyun was unaffected by the sudden bond. And what came to the babe as weird was the way in which it seemed to work, for he was not immune to the unexpected pull he felt to the elder. He had locked himself inside his house the entire weekend, and yet he had clearly felt the attraction, the desire, the _need_ to be with the elder.

How was that possible? All it had taken was a single touch. All it had taken was one encounter. How could the child be at the mercy of someone else’s existence when there was absolutely no relation between them?

Mark and Hyuckie had Yukhei. He was their common friend. So what did Jungwoo and Jaehyun have in common? And the more he thought about it, the less he understood the situation.

“Jungwoo, are you going to talk to us any time soon?” Asked Yukhei, arms crossed against his chest as he read Jungwoo's body language. He could tell something was wrong with the babe. He could almost hear the babe’s thoughts in his head, pleading for him to drop the topic and to pretend like everything was okay. And under normal circumstances he probably would have given in. But the child’s silence had everyone in a sense of panic, so excuse him for disregarding Jungwoo’s feelings as he kept on pressing him to speak. 

“You’re supposed to be happy, Woo. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

Up until last Friday morning, that’s exactly what the babe had wanted. He had wanted nothing more than to meet his soulmate and share with them everything in life. But now, given the unexpected turn of events, the babe wasn’t so sure anymore.

Hence why, without saying anything, the babe stood up from his seat and walked away from his friends. 

He couldn’t do this right now. He couldn’t face them in his current emotional state. If anything, his mental state was also a mess and there was no way he could open up about it with them. They deserved to know, but he was far from ready. 

Maybe he resented Mark and Hyuck a little. Maybe he resented Yukhei for the false illusion he had given him. Maybe he resented the fates and the universe for being screwed up and creating the soulmate system. Maybe he resented Jaehyun for the behaviour he had displayed without trying to address the topic.

And maybe he resented himself, for he realized that his dream bad been shattered in a matter of seconds. And that’s what pissed him off so much—dreams and reality are two things that mustn’t collide. Maybe he was at fault for not realizing this sooner.

* * *

Pressing his face against his pillow, the brunet couldn’t bring himself to stay still. It bad been almost a week since his encounter with the younger male, but the newly created bond bad been driving him insane in every aspect of his life.

Whenever he was home, he could feel the the _need_ to go look for the younger male. And it made sense, for Jungwoo was still a high school student and his schedule didn't exactly match the elder's, hence why the older boy seemed to be so overwhelmed by the younger boy at night only. Jaehyun was unaffected when he was at school or at work given the distance between them, but whenever he was home or particularly around the neighborhood late in the afternoon or at night, he could feel their bond activating and resonating with that of the younger babe. 

And by God, Jaehyun was beyond perturbed by the unpleasant turn of events, even more so to the point of staying silent about his situation. Out of all other people in the world, he had to be part of the unlucky group with multiple soulmates. How was he supposed to work this out? This was something he hadn’t expected. 

The only person that somewhat had an idea of what was going on was Johnny, and even he was still in the dark. The twenty-year-old found himself in a state of constant confusion lately, immediately alerting his best friend that something was wrong. But it has been a whole week and he has yet to open up to anyone about it.

How is he even supposed to explain this to others when he’s clearly having a hard time coming into terms with it himself?

And then there was Taeyong.

How do you tell your boyfriend, who happens to be your soulmate of three years, that there’s someone else in the picture now? 

Jaehyun was confused and irritated. He couldn’t help resenting Jungwoo despite the babe being a victim much like himself. It was clear to him that Jungwoo was clueless about the situation but so was he technically, and even though he was coming off as a jerk he also couldn’t help the negative feelings he was developing towards the babe.

There was no way he’d allow a third party come in between his soulmate and himself. He felt sorry towards the child. If things had turned out differently and someone else wasn’t in the picture, he would have loved to give _them_ a chance. Jungwoo seemed like a genuinely sweet and caring person, but Jaehyun wasn’t willing to stick around and find out. The faster he broke the news and told the child that nothing would ever happen between them, the faster he’d get to move on without feeling guilty. 

If only things had turned out to be differently.


	2. Deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys reach a silent, mutual agreement to avoid each other at all cost. Jungwoo learns that the bond doesn't only reflect an emotional connection with his soulmate, but also learns about the physical aspect of their resonance. And Jaehyun learns a thing or two about the concept of multiple soulmates, sending him into full panic once he realizes he's running against the clock. Because maybe, just maybe, Jungwoo is in danger and it's up to him to figure out how to stop it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things:
> 
> 1\. Artificial Happiness = A relationship outside your soulmate bond. As mentioned before, you can find happiness without your non-soulmate, but you'll never feel complete.
> 
> 2\. The underground racers and the drifting mentioned /are/ important. Keep that in mind as the story progresses.

Next time they stumbled upon each other had been a coincidence.

They were nowhere near their neighborhood, nor were they close to school grounds—at least on Jungwoo's case, for he had been forcefully dragged out of his house by Yukhei after his friend claimed it was time to spend some time together away from Mark and Hyuck. This is how Jungwoo ended up at the movie theater and forced to sit through an hour and a half of talking cartoons.

Under other circumstances, Jungwoo would have enjoyed every second of the movie. But his bond had activated roughly about two blocks prior to reaching the theater, and the pull had become almost unbearable when they walked into their respective room, sending unpleasant shivers down his spine and turning his hands into a clammy mess. It was quite a feeling he was more than familiar with since their bond activated every night given the short distance between them, but the child's physical response was always the same—one of pure fright and nervousness, turning his heart into a beating mess that could very well simulate a fake heart attack.

He should be used to it by now, but sadly he wasn’t.

Throughout the movie, the child couldn’t help but to look around discretely as he tried to pinpoint the subject of his sudden distress, only to fail miserably over and over again. And Yukhei? He had been more than aware to the babe’s unexpected behaviour, but he figured it was neither the time nor the place to ask about it. And for that, Jungwoo was more than thankful.

It wasn’t until the movie had finally ended that Jungwoo stumbled upon the elder. He had chosen to wait for Yukhei whilst the other boy used the restroom, opting to wait outside instead of going in with him.

And that’s when it happened again.

The faintness of their resonating bonds came crashing down at full force unexpectedly, sending a wave of excitement down Jungwoo’s spine and causing the child to let out a gasp of surprise. Because right there, just in front of him, was Jung Jaehyun, also leaning against the ugly floral wallpaper covering the walls of the theater hall whilst he too waited for whomever was accompanying him to finish using the restroom, or so the babe assumed.

Truthfully speaking, the babe was thankful. He was thankful to the elder for brightening his life in a positive way. It was thanks to that act of kindness—helping him stand up after he kissed the ground pathetically—that Woo's life had taken an unexpected turn. Yes, some days he was glad he could appreciate the beauty of the world he lived in, but it was through those instances of pure admiration that he remembered the situation he was in.

A soulmate that didn’t seem to acknowledge him at all.

And because of that, the child found himself avoiding eye contact with the elder instead. Jaehyun, much like himself, was also avoiding any form of visual interaction with the child, instead pulling out his phone and pretending to be busy.

They hadn’t spoken to each other, yet there seemed to be a mutual agreement to avoid any possible interaction between them.

Did it hurt? Yes, it did. Stupid since they didn’t even know each other, but that was a side effect of the bond they shared. And whatever shitty emotion Jungwoo was experiencing, the elder could also sense them. He could sense the emotional distress emanating from the babe, causing his heartbeat to increase momentarily as he fought his _need_ and irrational _desire_ to approach his soulmate—and that’s what he hates the most about the bond. Resisting the desire to approach the other person whenever they were in close proximity was _extremely_ hard. Jaehyun found himself nearly punching the wall behind him in exasperation, but running away would be a futile approach.

Maybe their bond was far more complicated than the elder had thought. Things with Taeyong were smooth and fluid, quite the opposite from whatever he had with Jungwoo. Perhaps it was due to the strength of his bond with his original soulmate that the elder could sense every aspect of Taeyong's emotional state—happiness, sadness, excitement, and any other fluid emotion that heavily impacted his partner's daily life.

Jungwoo was another story.

Just because there had been a link joining them together didn’t mean they were fully bonded yet. And perhaps that’s the answer to Jaehyun’s question. The elder didn’t know anything about Jungwoo other than the obvious. In fact, he tried his best to avoid him at all cost to the point where the only shared emotion between them was resentment and confusion. That could explain why the sentiment radiating off the babe was always one of disappointment and fright, two emotions that made Jaehyun further hate himself for acting in such a scornful way towards the child.

Being Jungwoo’s soulmate wasn’t easy. Not when the only emotions perceived were negative. Much like Jungwoo, Jaehyun was equally affected by his presence and by his emotional state, something that was clearly taking a toll on his daily life after finding himself being influenced and often disgruntled by the child's emotional state. His nights consisted of endless pacing around in the comfort of his room, often wondering _why_ the resonance shared between them was so much more _overwhelming_ than the one he shared with Taeyong.

Unlike his bond with Taeyong, the bond he had with Jungwoo seemed to be far more _damaging_ to both of them—it was almost toxic enough to create a rather gloomy atmosphere that could be _sensed_ by others around them.

Hence why, when Taeyong came out of the restroom and came straight for Jaehyun, the brunet forced himself to focus his entire attention on his soulmate instead. He pushed Jungwoo to the very back of his head, focusing his entire attention on the elder as Taeyong wrapped his arms around Jaehyun’s taller frame and pressed their lips together momentarily, sharing a quick peck with the younger male whilst intertwining their hands together and finally pulling him away.

The feelings of disappointment, confusion, and realization were almost too much for Jaehyun to handle, but from the looks of it Jungwoo had _finally_ learned the reason why Jaehyun kept pushing him away.

And when the well-known feelings of resentment with a hint of betrayal hit him unexpectedly, Jaehyun was simply glad that the distance between them was finally growing, for he wouldn’t have to dwell on the emotions of the babe any longer, or so he told himself.

* * *

“I think my soulmate and I won’t have a happy ending, Yukhei. I’ll never share with him what Mark and Hyuck have. I’ll never get to hold his hand and go on random walks with him in the middle of the night. We were better off as strangers. It’d hurt less.”

“Why do you say that? Will you ever tell me what exactly happened between you two?”

Forcing himself to smile at his friend, the babe shook his head and intertwined his hand with Yukhei's, swallowing the lump in his throat and allowing a few tears to fall unexpectedly.

He wasn’t ready to tell anyone yet.

Jungwoo spent the rest of the afternoon at Yukhei’s house basking in his best friend’s presence and indulging the taller boy into _necessary_ cuddle sessions, claiming he needed to recharge his mood before finally going home.

Home didn’t feel like home anymore.

And Yukhei? He loved Jungwoo a little too much to not give in. He spent the afternoon cuddling with the smaller boy and trying his best to make him smile again.

* * *

“I don’t understand. Everything seemed to be going fine so why me? Out of all people, why me?”

Pacing back and forth in the comfort of his room—and how was anyone supposed to sleep with the obnoxious sound of drifting right outside his window—the brunet found himself unable to take it anymore. His bond kept resonating, calling for him to run to Jungwoo at any given time.

Ever since the movie incident, the child's emotional state kept on deteriorating, further proving Jaehyun that the link they shared was toxic.

And the worst part of it all? He was getting fed up of it. It had been nearly a month now and he had come to the conclusion that being home made him feel worse. _Much_ worse, if he must admit. He had yet to tell Taeyong about whatever was going on. He was yet to tell Taeyong about the new link he shared with someone else. He had been trying to find ways to bring it up from time to time and explain the situation, but he always backed out at the very last second and pretended like everything was okay.

 _Nothing_ was okay.

He was an emotional mess—courtesy of Jungwoo, of course.

Performing simple tasks such as studying or eating were draining him to the point of exhaustion. Ever since he and Taeyong met, he had never once tried fighting his soulmate bond. He had no idea of the _effort_ and the _consequences_ of such decision, some of which he was barely experiencing for the first time ever and were enough to drive him to the verge of insanity.

He had spoken to Johnny a few days ago and had _finally_ told him the situation. And to his surprise, Johnny said he knew someone he could talk to. A friend of his, some boy named Doyoung, was in a similar situation and could probably help him out.

And Jaehyun agreed to meet up with him without asking any questions.

But setting up a meeting with said male was harder than expected. Their schedules were conflicting and Jaehyun was slowly growing even more frustrated. Time was passing and he had yet to solve the problem. In fact, time was passing and he was yet to talk things out with Jungwoo.

But how?

And what were they supposed to talk about? How do you politely tell your second soulmate to forget about you because there are _no_ chances between the two of you?

Despite the obnoxious distraction of the idiots drifting outside his window, the brunet found himself not cussing them out for the unnecessary commotion they were causing at ass o'clock at night. If anything, the soulmate bond was the whole reason behind his restlessness and current sour mood. Hence why, he shut his window and closed the blinds, making his way to the AC in the room and blasting it to max to completely block out the screeching sound of the pavement burning the tires. Throwing himself on his bed and turning away from the door, the elder forced himself to enter dreamland, clearly bothered by the resonating link that kept pushing him towards Jungwoo whilst simultaneously hating himself for being a coward.

Because at the end of the day, he could be straightforward with the babe about the potential genetic mistake created by fate, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. And he had no one to blame but himself.

* * *

“ _Dad, would it be okay with you if I come over today?”_

_“Of course, Woo. You can come whenever you feel like it. Did something happen?”_

_“I just want to spend time with you.”_

_“You know this is your home, too. You can come here whenever you feel like it.”_

* * *

Sitting in the living room with his dad, the babe took his time drinking the iced tea his father had prepared for him. He had been desperate to get out of the house. It was still the middle of the week, but from the looks of it Jaehyun was home. How convenient that the one day Jungwoo chose to not go to school was _also_ the day Jaehyun decided to not go to work.

And as much as he wanted to stay with his mother, the resonating pull between them was enough to make the babe want to run away. Which is precisely what led to him contacting his dad and asking him for permission to come over.

“You look like you need a hug,” said his dad, playfully spreading his arms and waiting for the child to dive into his embrace. And Jungwoo wasted no time, for he abandoned his spot on the couch and rushed to the elder’s arms.

The elder smiled at this son and stroked his strands lovingly, pressing a kiss to his temple and letting out a content sigh. It had been a few weeks since he had last seen the babe. He was starting to miss him.

“Have you been well?”

“Underground racers have been using the four-way intersections in our neighborhood to practice their drifting. I had a hard time falling asleep because of them last night, hence why mom allowed me to skip school today.”

A partial lie.

Underground racers had been turning it into a task to see which one of Jungwoo's neighbors would call the cops on them. So far, no one had attempted to. Mostly because the neighborhood kids often came out to record and praise them for their skills. Jungwoo could care less about them, but he was not a snitch. Last night, the drifting had been almost unbearable. Normally, he wouldn’t have cared much. But given his emotional state and his mental exhaustion from fighting his soulmate bond with Jaehyun, the babe hadn’t been able to sleep properly.

So yes, he had skipped school because of his inability to get some rest. But he had been _unable_ to get some rest because of Jaehyun’s presence.

There was no wining.

“Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

“You’re using the daddy card. This must be serious,” joked the elder, earning himself a rather adorable smile from the babe as he pulled away from the elder’s embrace.

“What are your thoughts on multiple soulmates?”

The elder stared at his son in surprise. That was not the question he was expecting from the babe.

"I think they have a particular purpose and are here to accomplish it. Although, I must admit it's beyond unfortunate having to share your soulmate with someone else. They're victims of the claws of reality, Woo. The fates don't make mistakes. Everyone has a purpose."

Is that so? Then what was his purpose in Jaehyun's life? Why were the fates so desperate to see him hurting? Did they enjoy seeing him crying on daily basis? Did they enjoy watching the elder giving him the silent treatment? 

If the fates make no mistakes, then what exactly is he and his role in Jaehyun's happy relationship with Taeyong?

"But you and mom settled for _artificial happiness_ rather than creating a life with your own soulmates. What makes you both different from someone with multiple soulmates?"

The elder smiled at the babe momentarily, not really understanding where this was coming from but not wanting to disappoint him by not answering his question either. Whatever Jungwoo was going through was definitely overwhelming him enough to have him at the verge of tears. And whether the child realized it or not, his father was not about to point it out.

Because sometimes it's better to just listen instead.

"Your mom and I had a _choice_. We decided to walk away from our soulmates. It was our decision. People with multiple soulmates don't have that choice. They have to settle for one person only, which means their second soulmate has to move on. They have no choice, Woo"

So he'd have to move on and settle for someone else willing to defy the fates, much like his mom and dad? Did that mean that he'd never be happy? Did that mean he'd also cry himself to sleep the way his mom did for the first few years after the divorce? Did that mean he'd have to reminiscent the memories he made with a non-soulmate the way his father did with the many family albums he had in his room?

Did it mean that he was just cursed to never be fully happy? Because as much as his parents claimed to be happy, very deep inside he knew they weren't. And that was a future Jungwoo didn't want for himself. But from the looks of it, that's exactly what he was destined to have.

Maybe it was a lesson for him.

Maybe he was too greedy, always dreaming of the day his life would finally make sense and fall into place. Perhaps it's what he deserves for thinking that a soulmate would somehow make his life better.

Because now he knows a soulmate can also bring you despair, loneliness, and pain. And just like they can better life in unimaginable ways, they can also torture you and destroy you without mercy.

And unfortunately for Jungwoo, Jaehyun had done a perfect job at shattering his illusion of a happy, perfect life.

* * *

Jungwoo was tossing around in bed, trying his best to fall asleep.

For once, the resonating bond with the elder wasn’t bothering him as much as it normally would. He wasn’t feeling distressed and there was a sense or limited normality filling him up for the first time in weeks now. Jaehyun and he were still not on speaking terms, but they had a mutual agreement to _pretend_ like they don’t exist.

To Jungwoo, despite being painful, it was enough for him to force himself to turn away from the elder. Taeyong clearly had no idea of the bond between Jaehyun and him. But to the babe, that was okay too, because at the end of the day nothing would happen between them. So whether the elder knew or not of his existence in Jaehyun’s life wasn’t a big deal to the babe, or so he had made himself believe.

After all, Jaehyun had made that very clear since the beginning.

But compared to other nights, the child felt at peace. Content even, and that’s what concerned him so much.

He had no reason to be happy. There was nothing that could potentially bring him the feelings of content he was suddenly experiencing, further leading him to believe something _wasn’t_ right. Everything he felt was the opposite of whatever emotional disconnection he was experiencing, leading him to think that his own emotions were being influenced by his soulmate and their bond.

And that’s when he felt it.

It was a pleasuring sensation that traveled down his body in ways that couldn’t be described. He felt lingering, nearly ghostly, delicate touches all over his body. His senses were suddenly clouded, filling him up with a form of frisson he had never experienced before. His body was reacting on its own, almost as if an invisible force was caressing every sensitive area and sending shivers down his back.

It was amazing.

So _wonderfully_ amazing.

The babe released a sudden moan, forcing himself to get rid of his boxers and noticing how his member was fully erect. He didn’t even bother questioning what was happening anymore—he knew perfectly well the reason behind the sudden euphoria he was experiencing. And despite how frustrating it’d be for him, he chose to fight it as he lied down in his bed without moving and refusing to touch himself.

But sadly, that’s not how the bond worked.

Even if he didn’t try finding his own release, Jaehyun’s pleasure was enough to be transmitted through their bond. Every single _touch_ and _thrust_ could be felt by the babe, leading to another round of moans and grunts on Jungwoo's part that had him cussing out loud and tossing in bed attempting to fight it.

The babe spread his thighs further apart, forcing himself to keep his member free of any physical friction. But even this turned out to be futile, for he was thrown into a bottomless bliss of pleasure that had him panting and sweating, turning on his sides every so often to hold onto his pillow when he became far too overwhelmed.

Within thirty minutes or so, after edging him enough to nearly come twice in a row—only for the pleasure to stop unexpectedly and then return all over unannounced, turning the younger boy into a panting mess all over again—the babe found himself staining his lower abdomen in pretty, albeit uncomfortable, ropes of white. He came hard and untouched, also staining some of the flat sheet on his bed as he breathed in and out and forced himself to calm down.

He didn’t think this could be possible.

As if his soulmate rejecting him wasn’t enough, the universe was also _mocking_ him and giving him a taste of whatever he couldn’t have. And for what exactly? What difference would it make if Jungwoo could sense and feel Jaehyun while he and Taeyong were being intimate?

It only brought him a great sense of loss and jealousy. He felt betrayed not only by Jaehyun, but by fate and the universe as well. It was a sick, twisted game of reality he wasn’t willing to put up with. He never wanted to be part of this. Whatever the fates were plotting against him, he wanted nothing to do with this. All he ever wanted was to find his own happiness, and now he couldn't even do that.

And so the child cried.

He cried all the tears he’s been holding in since he found out Jaehyun was his soulmate. He cried for the times he forced himself to walk away whenever he spotted Jaehyun and Taeyong together. And most importantly, he cried for being a puppet being controlled by a resonating bond that brought him nothing but pain and misfortune.

And whether Jaehyun could sense the child’s sudden distress or not, Jungwoo couldn’t bring himself to care as he continued crying. But from the looks of it, Jaehyun didn’t care either, for he and Taeyong spent the next hour repeating the same process again, indulging in each other’s warmth whilst remaining completely oblivious to the emotional state of the babe a few houses down.

The experience this time was far more devastating for the babe, because within every thrust of the elder, the babe couldn’t help feeling numb. And compared to the pretty sounds he emitted earlier, the tears rolling down his cheeks were the only evidence of the torture inflicted upon him.

And he hated it.

The babe could barely sleep that night, finally forcing himself to stand up and clean himself after realizing the other two were done for the night.

The feelings transmitted through the bond were those of content and fulfillment, the complete opposite of whatever Jungwoo was currently experiencing. But that was okay, too.

At least one of them was happy. If only Jungwoo could also find his own happiness as well.

* * *

“Mom, would it bother you if I move in with dad for a few months?” asked the child two days later, unable to take the lingering presence of Taeyong and Jaehyun’s touches all over his body.

He had been trying his best to pretend like nothing happened, still going out of his way to avoid the elder like he had been doing on daily basis whenever it was possible or convenient. But the lord didn’t pity him enough to shed some light, for he kept on stumbling upon the elder at the most inconvenient times. For instance, when he walked back home from school and they met up coincidentally at the beginning of the block. Or just last night when he went to the convenience store to buy whatever his mom requested, only to find Jaehyun also looking around for something to buy.

And through these instances, compared to the awkward eye contact they made from time to time, the babe made it his task to avoid Jaehyun at _all_ cost. He walked faster nowadays to stop himself from stumbling upon the elder.

He wanted to pretend like Jaehyun didn’t exist; pretend like the resonating bond between them wasn’t affecting him at all.

But behind closed doors, he allowed himself to cry in frustration away from his mother and his friends. And Jaehyun wasn’t oblivious to this. The child's emotional state was slowly deteriorating and it wasn’t hard to tell why. But he had already made up his mind and refused to approach Jungwoo. He refused to speak to him and to offer any emotional counseling. Yes, Jungwoo was bottling up his every emotion and seemed to be _willing_ to damage his own emotional and mental state rather than seeking out help—rather than talking to someone and letting it all out.

And the same way Jungwoo seemed to be self-destroying himself from the inside out, Jaehyun was slowly being consumed by endless guilt that was slowly becoming a part of him. Because it was much easier to turn the other way and ignore the damage he was creating than being upfront about it with everyone else—Jungwoo included.

That was the price they both had to pay for being stuck in an uncommon situation—one dwelling in pain whilst the other one dwells in guilt.

“Did something happen, Woo?” The child shook his head immediately, forcing himself to smile at his mom as he further elaborated on his request. “No. I just want to spend some time with my dad. I barely see him nowadays,” said the babe, earning himself a look of surprise from his mom.

Not that Jungwoo wasn’t fond of his dad. Quite the opposite really, the boy still went around calling him “daddy" even though he was all grown now. But to his mom, it felt like Jungwoo was trying to run away from something. And why? Because she knew Jungwoo more than he knew himself, which further fueled her sense an anxiety and warned her that something wasn’t right.

But if Jungwoo was asking to spend some time with his dad, there was nothing she could do about it. Depriving him of seeing him was something she wasn’t willing to do. If Jungwoo wanted to speak up about whatever was bothering him, he’d come to her on his own. Or rather, he’d tell his dad and then his dad would tell her.

Maybe this was for the better.

“Even if your school is farther from his house than from here?”

Jungwoo smiled at her again and then elaborated.

“His house is my second home, too. And yeah, it’s a few extra blocks farther from there, but I’m willing to put the extra effort.”

His mom smiled at him and had no choice but to comply. Unwillingly, yes, but she still complied. Because even if she tried stopping him from going, he’d still go against her wishes. So what was the point?

The rest of the day was spent with Jungwoo packing his suitcase and calling his dad to ask him to come get him. It’s not like he was moving permanently, but he had to get away from Jaehyun. He needed some time away to feel normal _again_ , even if the colors around him were a heavy reminder that his life wasn’t normal anymore.

Black and gray were everyone’s normality. Black and gray were a reminder of the fantasy inflicted upon everyone about their potential soulmate, and by default the only taste or normality Jungwoo had known for years. Colors though, they entailed a heavier burden and greater disappointment.

And Jungwoo could finally understand that now.

* * *

“Doyoung?”

Walking into the small coffee shop and approaching the only table with a single individual whilst that someone sipped on what seemed to be a smoothie, the brunet couldn’t help the feeling of excitement that filled him up momentarily.

The male in question looked up, offering the brunet a genuine smile that Jaehyun reciprocated almost immediately.

And how could he not? This was the _only_ person that could help him understand the second link he shared with Jungwoo. Maybe Doyoung could help him find a way to break the connection, or at least to solve the problem. Because for obvious reasons, Jaehyun couldn’t be with Jungwoo. And likewise, he couldn’t get away from Taeyong.

So he was stuck in a dilemma where he had no choices and no solutions to his problem.

“The one and only,” said the other male, stretching out his arm and signaling the brunet to take a seat. And Jaehyun complied right away.

“I was told you have a few questions for me, Jaehyun. Although, I must admit I don’t know if the answers will please you.”

That single statement alone gave Jaehyun a sense of relief and hope despite the sudden wave of uneasiness that came along with them. He was at the point of desperation, willing to take anything if it meant he’d get some answers. And the fact that this person had been recommended by Johnny himself, Jaehyun didn’t bother questioning him.

“Johnny said our situations are similar. I was hoping you can help me understand it better.”

Doyoung took another sip of his smoothie just as the waiter came to take Jaehyun’s order. He was in no mood to eat or drink anything, but nevertheless settled for a plain cup of coffee. For the past few days, his second bond hadn’t been active. And whilst he wasn’t complaining about it, the realization of the sudden emptiness he could detect was worrisome. It was as if Jungwoo had on purposely disappeared and Jaehyun found himself struggling to feel at ease.

Their bond wasn't resonating at night. There was _no_ pull keeping him awake. No unrequited feelings overwhelming him and driving him to the verge of insanity, constantly causing him to leave the comfort of his bed for the sake of pacing around the room.

It was all _gone_ and whilst that’s exactly what Jaehyun wanted, he couldn’t help feeling uneasy—he couldn’t help feeling _empty_.

“I have—”

“A second soulmate, I heard,” said Doyoung, resting both hands on the table and pushing his smoothie away.

The brunet nodded, eyes wandering around the shop almost on instinct. It was a new habit he had picked up from avoiding Jungwoo, causing unnecessary stress wherever he went and stupidly leading him to think he’d bump into the babe pretty much anywhere. It was almost as if he had forgotten that their bond would resonate whenever they were relatively within close proximity.

If Doyoung didn’t know any better, he’d call it paranoia.

“I used to have two soulmates as well. My first soulmate, the one whom presented me the full spectrum of colors, turned out to be my neighbor at the age of ten. We didn’t know each other. We just knew we lived within the same apartment complex. The day we found out about our soulmate bond was the day his family was moving away. I bumped into him in the elevator and we stumbled upon each other by accident. That was the first and last time we saw each other until three years ago. I didn’t even get to ask for his name.”

The waiter came back and handed over Jaehyun’s order. He left the mug in the middle of the table and then excused himself, reminding Jaehyun that the creamer and the different choices of sugar were all in the further left corner of the table. Ironic and unnecessary, for both males could see the prettily decorated basket. 

It wasn’t until the male had fully walked away and until Jaehyun was settled again with his coffee that Doyoung continued.

“I met my second soulmate three years ago as well. And she was absolutely beautiful. I stumbled upon her at the library at my university, both of us reaching out for the same book at the exact same time. Thanks to that encounter, I learned later on that soulmates _always_ arrive into our lives at the right time. You don’t know it yet, but the arrival of your second soulmate _signifies_ something. I wish I had known back then,” his eyes filled up with unshed tears, head turning away from Jaehyun immediately as he caught himself momentarily lost in the memories of his past.

Jaehyun felt a sudden lump in his throat, the coffee in the mug suddenly seemed so unappealing to the extent of him pushing it away. Doyoung's words were slowly making him question whether asking him for help was a good idea. Whatever the elder was about to say, Jaehyun knew he wouldn’t like it much.

“We met days after I had bumped into my first soulmate. I was still looking for him, trying to do my absolute best at finding him and reconnecting with him. Because even though we’d only met once, I wanted to _see_ him and _talk_ to him. But just like the first time we met, he was instantly gone. So I searched for him for the next upcoming days. That’s how I met Naeun.

“And like the asshole you are, Jaehyun, I _also_ rejected her. I refused to believe there was someone else for me, because I was still so hooked up on my first soulmate to the extent of not paying attention to our bond. And let me explain something to you, both bonds are _different_. You don’t resonate with them equally. When I bumped into my first soulmate, other than the colors, the pull I felt towards him was undeniable. And yet, it wasn’t satisfying enough for me to desire going out of my way to go find him until we accidentally crossed paths again. I wanted to find him for the wrong reasons—that of having an actual verbal exchange with him for the first time ever. And I can assure you, the same thing happened to you,” said Doyoung in an accusatory tone, once again sipping on his smoothie as if he hadn’t given the younger brunet a reality check.

And he had.

Jaehyun was merely in the middle of processing it all. He was in a state of shock, visibly trying to put the big picture together to figure out whether Doyoung was right or wrong.

Were the bonds really different? Or was that something he came up with for the sake of guilt tripping him for rejecting Jungwoo without a single explanation? Or alternatively, could it be Doyoung was actually right and indirectly opening his eyes to something he had been completely oblivious to due to his countless tries at avoiding the babe?

Whatever the case may be, Jaehyun didn’t feel so good. This meeting was supposed to help him understand his situation. If anything, he was hoping Doyoung could show him how to _terminate_ his bond with Jungwoo. But every single time the elder said anything in regards to said bond, Jaehyun couldn’t help feeling anxiety creeping in.

“You haven’t noticed the differences and similarities between both bonds, have you? You resonate with one soulmate much more than the other. There’s an undeniable _need_ and _desire_ to be with them. The bond will overwhelm you and drive you insane, almost to the extent of making you want to _run_ to your soulmate to decrease whatever distance is between you two. You don’t have to be in extremely close proximity for the bond to activate. Your soulmate can be a mile away and the bond will _immediately_ activate on its own, or at least let you know your significant other is within a mile radius from you—it's meant to _push_ you together. Did you know that? Did you know that individuals with multiple soulmates share a _deeper_ connection than that of anyone with one single soulmate? It’s to help you realize and come into terms with whomever is the right person for you.”

The brunet's thoughts drifted back to Taeyong. Taeyong's smile. Taeyong's presence. Because since the very first moment he and Taeyong crossed paths and his colorless world became more vivid, Jaehyun had made it his task to put the effort to _not_ drift away from him. Since the moment he tripped and unfortunately took Taeyong with him down the stairs from the third floor back in high school, Jaehyun had sworn to not let anything come in between them.

And even though the elder seemed to be completely unamused at the time, the brunet simply thought of it as him being more composed—the complete opposite of Jaehyun and his excited self, for he had been _waiting_ to meet his soulmate his whole life.

“Jaehyun, you need to—”

No, whatever Doyoung was about to say in regards to Jungwoo needed to stop. He was already making him question his very first encounter with Taeyong. If there was a bond that needed to be questioned, then it was definitely his resonance with Jungwoo.

“Naeun. Tell me more about her.”

 _Tell me more about her, because she's the equivalent of Jungwoo in my life and it's my only source of interest,_ but these were words that Jaehyun left unsaid.

At the mention of his second soulmate, Doyoung couldn’t stop the look of guilt and remorse that morphed on his otherwise neutral features, signaling Jaehyun that something had clearly happened between them.

But was he ready for whatever the elder was about to say?

“She’s okay. She’s dating someone she met not long ago and she seems happy.”

“But what about the bond?”

Doyoung forced himself to swallow the sudden lump on his throat first and then continued.

“There’s _no_ bond anymore.”

Jaehyun blinked once. Twice.

Confusion was evident on his face as he tried coming into terms with whatever the elder was talking about. Because that's _exactly_ what Jaehyun wanted. He wanted to know if there was a way to terminate the second bond that linked Jungwoo and he together, which gave him a reoccurring sense of uneasiness and anxiety given the current gloomy atmosphere surrounding the older male.

If he had been so desperate to find his very first soulmate, why does he look so unhappy now? Shouldn't he be happy that he gets to be with the person that changed his otherwise colorless life?

"I don't understand."

"Jaehyun, the _only_ way for a bond to disappear is through a potential fatality. If not a fatality, then at least something tragic enough to jeopardize the future of your soulmate. With your soulmate hanging off the string of life and death, the bond is automatically _broken_. There is no link between you two anymore. Naeun survived. She's alive and well as I've already mentioned, but unlike me who still has one remaining soulmate, she has _nothing_ left. She has no choice but to settle for _artificial happiness_ , and whilst that's not uncommon at all nowadays, it's a selfish thought.

"Do you think I don't blame myself everyday for the life I deprived her of? Had I not being stubborn enough, we'd probably be together right now. Had I paid attention to my soulmate bond, I'd have known I had a stronger connection with her. She wouldn't have limited dating options had it not being for my stubbornness and naivety. How do you think it feels to date someone but never feeling complete? You'll never know and let me tell you _why_ —because if the bond between your second soulmate and yours breaks, you _still_ have one more soulmate you resonate with. And whilst they might not make you feel _complete_ , they'll fulfill the void left behind from the one you were meant to be with."

_Lies._

Doyoung must be lying. There must definitely be another way to break the bond. There must be a way to fix whatever genetic mistake was imposed on Jaehyun's peaceful life. He didn't want Jungwoo in his life, but that didn't mean he wanted the babe hurt—or dead. Jungwoo had a whole life ahead of him. And whilst Naeun was still alive and well, she was probably traumatized enough to not want to be anywhere near Doyoung.

That's not what Jaehyun wanted. Not for Jungwoo. Not for anyone.

"You still don't believe me, do you?"

No, he didn't. But Jaehyun was in no position to agree or disagree with the elder.

"I told you your second soulmate has a purpose in your life. Figure it out, Jaehyun. The fates don't make any mistakes. And if I were you, I'd hurry and figure it out soon. There are no coincidences in this world, only the inevitable and unavoidable. I wanted Naeun to be gone from my life and the universe fulfilled that wish. And now I'm paying for it. We both are. I will _never_ be complete, not even with my first soulmate. He'll be a temporary filler in my life that will make me happy but not complete. Likewise, I condemned her to a life of permanent unhappiness, for she'll never be complete or satisfied. She'll never experience the joy and the beauty of having a link that resonates with someone she's meant to be with for the rest of her life."

A purpose?

Jaehyun already had everything he wanted. He was a pre-med student about to finalize his general courses. He had found his soulmate at a fairly young age, meaning he wouldn't be stuck trying to find his predestined person later on in life. Realistically speaking, Jungwoo fit nowhere in that equation. So what was his purpose in Jaehyun's life?

Doyoung said that the fates made no mistakes. His whole life he was told that the percentage of the population with multiple soulmates were due to accidental genetic mistakes that unfortunately couldn't be fixed. And yet, Doyoung once again proved him wrong by revealing some sick, twisted reality that had him far beyond confused and unwilling to even try breaking the new bond.

"What was Naeun's purpose in your life?"

The elder smiled at the brunet and finally stopped himself from suppressing his tears, allowing them to roll down his cheeks as he broke eye contact and played with the straw of his drink instead.

"She was here to show me that your first choice isn't always the right one. She was here to show me that some bonds, despite how bizarre they seem to be at first, hold a far deeper meaning in your life than you think. She was supposed to teach me love and selflessness. And I pushed her away. I rejected her a total of seven times before she gave up on us. And when she got hit by that car as she crossed the street after our last argument, body limp on the ground with a weak pulse and with low chances or surviving prior to reaching the hospital, I felt _every_ emotion all at once.

"I felt the pain of the collision, which nearly knocked me unconscious, too. I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest viciously, leaving a void I haven't been able to fill since that day. I felt regret, remorse, and desperation all at once, and I can assure you everyone around me _knew_ something was wrong. Not physically. But mentally and emotionally, I have scars that will _never_ go away. Naeun was here to give me the love and fulfillment I'll never have with my first soulmate, for he's _also_ a rare case whom happens to have a second soulmate he resonates with. And because I didn't know how to read our bond, I mercilessly ruined our lives. So let me ask you one last time, Jaehyun, is _this_ what you want for you?"

No.

This is not what Jaehyun wanted for himself. This isn't what he wanted for Jungwoo. And most definitely not what he wanted for Taeyong. He was trapped in a vicious triangle without an exit, making him realize that he had a lot to consider before he could make a final decision. 

Because Doyoung's tears were overwhelming him to the extent of wanting to rush to Jungwoo and begging him to not leave his side. And that said a lot considering the depth of his ill feelings towards the unnecessary bond between them. But if keeping Jungwoo by his side would stop the fates from taking him away the way they had taken Naeun away from Doyoung, then it was a risk he was willing to take. He may not like the babe, but he was not about to let anything happen to Jungwoo because of him.

"You have a lot to figure out, Jaehyun. But you're running out of time and if you don't make your decision, the fates will decide for you. Believe me, you don't want to end like Naeun and I."

The fates. The same little bastards that ruined his life in the first place. They were the same little bastards that would ruin Jungwoo's life or even Taeyong's if he didn't figure out the babe's purpose in his life.

Everything was so complicated and Jaehyun was even more stressed now than he had been thirty minutes ago.

* * *

Silent. Empty. 

That was the only way Jaehyun could describe his past two weeks. The second bond that wouldn't leave him alone whenever he was home had stopped resonating. His nights weren't restless anymore, nor did he feel an insatiable pull that kept him up at night and pacing in the solitude of his room. He was so used to dreading coming home from work at night that he had forgotten what it was like to feel a sense of normality in his life again.

But _this_ wasn't normal. Normal entailed him feeling at ease and peaceful regardless of whether he was away from Taeyong or not. So why did he feel so _empty_ now that the link connecting him to Jungwoo wasn't resonating? Why was he so uneasy not knowing about the child's whereabouts? Why had he been feeling _incomplete,_ almost as if he needed Jungwoo's presence to feel at ease?

Doyoung's words had been stuck in his head since the meeting they had a week ago.

_"You resonate with one soulmate much more than the other. There’s an undeniable need and desire to be with them. The bond will overwhelm you and drive you insane, almost to the extent of making you want to run to your soulmate to decrease whatever distance is between you two."_

It made no sense. How could he resonate more with Jungwoo, someone he had no relationship with, than with Taeyong?

Nothing made sense.

He and Taeyong had been together for three years now. They knew _everything_ about each other. Jungwoo had only been in the picture for roughly two months now, and yet his absence felt like a burden to the brunet. He felt lost, empty, and incomplete. And yet, when Taeyong wasn't around, the only emotion he felt was that of uncomfortable sadness.

It was almost as if that single touch had done more than just link them together—almost as if the fates had bind them together by an invisible string, leading to all these sudden emotions Jaehyun had absolutely no idea how to deal with.

He didn't even know how to approach the babe. And now that Jungwoo had pretty much vanished, Jaehyun was struggling to cope with the loss. Where did he even go? The very last time he could recall sensing the babe, Jaehyun had been far too indulged in his act of intimacy with Taeyong. He knew it was wrong. It was a heartless thing to do to the babe, but he was not going to push Taeyong away. 

He couldn't. 

Especially not when he's the one to initiate any act of intimacy between them. And whilst he was perfectly aware that wasn't an excuse, he couldn't help it. Because he'd always prioritize Taeyong over anyone else. 

So yes, now that he thought about it, he was most definitely the reason behind the babe's sudden disappearance. The last thing he could remember was sensing sadness and betrayal, momentarily causing him to feel guilty but it was overshadowed by the feelings of content and fulfillment radiating off his partner. He promised himself he'd deal with the guilt the next days to come, mentally preparing himself for the torture he'd be put through later at night when his bond with Jungwoo was the most active.

But two days after he and Tyong had been intimate, the bond he shared with Jungwoo had stopped resonating. Two days after bumping into the child on his way home from school, and after having stumbled upon him accidentally at the grocery store a few blocks down their neighborhood, the elder had been welcome home by pure silence and emptiness. At the time, he didn't think much of it. Even after his meeting with Doyoung, which left him even more confused and far more anxious than he'd like to admit, Jungwoo was still _nowhere_ to be found. But now, a whole two weeks after his disappearance, Jaehyun found himself unable to be still. He was restless, anxious, and uneasy. Even when Taeyong was with him, his thoughts kept drifting back to Jungwoo.

And Taeyong was finally realizing that _something_ was wrong. 

At first, Jaehyun had brushed it off with the excuse of being tired. And that was not a lie. The racing and drifting had gotten worse. One of his neighbors had finally had enough, deciding to snitch on behalf of everyone else and calling the cops on the underground racers keeping the entire neighborhood up at night. So now, and as fishy as it was becoming, Jaehyun had caught some suspicious looking cars parked around the corners of the intersections a few times throughout the week, mostly late at night when he was on his way back from work.

It seemed to him like they were looking for the culprit behind the phone call. Now, Jaehyun is no expert at all, but the city had installed cameras in the neighborhood and the four-way intersection, clearly aiming to catch the group of illegal racers using a residential area to their convenience. His mom had warned him to be careful and to keep out of trouble. And it's not like he was going to get into an unnecessary fight with anyone, but he also did not like being watched. It made him feel like a criminal of some sort. 

Honestly, even he didn't know who had called the cops. But that was none of his business.

That excuse, however, seemed to have given Taeyong some peace of mind. That was, of course, until he started sensing Jaehyun's distress through their soulmate bond whenever they were together, causing him to feel rather confused at the younger male's sudden behaviour and conflicting emotions.

So now Jaehyun was on a mission to avoid Taeyong. Because as much as he loved his soulmate, the elder's presence was becoming suffocating. He felt like he was choking, and whilst he should just be honest about Jungwoo's existence in his life, Jaehyun didn't want to open up to him about it yet.

Because opening up about Jungwoo would mean _accepting_ that he's a vital part of his life. And yes, Jungwoo has been the reason behind his deteriorating emotional state, but it was not something Taeyong needed to know about. Not yet at least. He knew the elder was aware something was up, but he hadn't tried pushing the truth out of Jaehyun yet. And for that, the brunet was thankful.

At least he didn't have to worry about Taeyong for now. All he had to do was figure out where Jungwoo was. But even that might turn out to be futile, for he had no leads in regards to the child’s whereabouts. Maybe he should just politely use his mom to his advantage and ask her to talk to Jungwoo's mom on his behalf.

Or maybe, just maybe, Jaehyun needed to pull himself together and just forget about Jungwoo for now. Because even if he was experiencing dread, uneasiness, anxiety, and borderline desperation, he finally had the “peace” he had so badly wanted again since the moment Jungwoo arrived in his life.

_"You have a lot to figure out, Jaehyun. But you're running out of time and if you don't make your decision, the fates will decide for you. Believe me, you don't want to end like Naeun and I."_

Well crap. Doyoung's words kept reminding him that he couldn't just forget about Jungwoo. The babe was important and vital in his life now. Maybe it was the right time to set up a second meeting with the elder. Because even if he refused to believe Doyoung, he was the only other person he knew could potentially help him out.

And he needed to find Jungwoo soon because he was getting fed up of moping around his room and craving to be within close proximity to the babe. Mind you, the same person he kept _rejecting_ and _ignoring_ over and over again.

Was Jungwoo at least okay? Was he feeling the way Jaehyun was feeling?

The elder let out a sigh of exasperation and lied down on his bed, not bothering to turn off the light as he faced the wall and forced himself to sleep. Because at least when he was unconscious he didn't have to deal with all these foreign emotions that were consuming him and disrupting his otherwise peaceful days.

At least when was asleep, he could stop thinking about Jungwoo. And that's exactly what he needed right at this moment.

He allowed the darkness to swallow him whole, indulging him in a chain of dreams (or rather nightmares) filled with Jungwoo and the never-ending scenarios where he ended up dead. Clearly a manifestation of his inner thoughts and the root of his constant anxiety, for it was most definitely the potential outcome of this if he didn't hurry up and made up his mind.

Because Jungwoo's life was merely like a piece of chess that could be tossed away sooner or later. And whilst that was harsh, it was the only thought keeping Jaehyun sane despite the contradicting nature of his emotional state.

Or maybe he was already going insane—either one worked. Both options seemed befitting enough to the current dilemma he was facing. Whatever the case may be, he had a lot of things to figure out but where did he even start?

And most importantly, how did he get ahold of the person he was running away from? The roles had suddenly changed and he never once pictured himself desperately looking for someone he absolutely wanted nothing to do with. But he was suddenly in a position where he only had two choices—keeping the babe close to him to stop a potential calamity from happening, or letting the fates rip them apart from each other in the most cruel of ways.

Both options ended with Jungwoo potentially hurt. And that was not a risk Jaehyun was willing to take.


End file.
